cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
