ugly people sure do ruin things
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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