ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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