whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
