I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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