Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
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