Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she peed on how many people?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
