honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
