pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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