are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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