Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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