you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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