FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
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On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
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I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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