): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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