Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I wear drunk well.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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