I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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