it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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