Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
