She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
