Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Don't make out with my wife yet
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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