It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
