Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
