I want to walk on stilts...naked
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
