Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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