We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
