i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize