I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
