Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
how drunk are you?
Several
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize