she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize