So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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