how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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