i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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