I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
