Operation Purity has been aborted
My vagina just recognized that song.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
