Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You're my little dorito
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
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He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
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Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"