Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything