i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!