im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
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Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
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Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants