It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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