when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He has the fingertips of a God
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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