I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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