so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
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He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
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You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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