Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
