I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize