the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have tasted many bathrooms
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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