BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
