What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
