i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
