wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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