Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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