I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
