I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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