first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
