I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize