How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
