i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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