omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
