her vagine was all disorganized.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
