Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
