Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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