well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
