was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
